Self-Awareness: Your Holy Grail for Success and Fulfillment

You want to live a successful, fulfilling life: one where you're able to easily reach your goals and achieve your dreams. Your career isn't just about having a job that will allow you to easily pay your bills. It's also about doing something every day that challenges you and pushes you closer to success. You want to look forward to going to work each day, not dread it.

If all of these things sound familiar, then there's one Holy Grail that will allow you to meet those goals of success and fulfillment: self-awareness.

What is Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness means having a clear view of who you are--all the details that help shape your personality and your skills. Self-aware individuals are familiar with both their strengths and weaknesses. They also choose not to take on too much: to moderate what they're going after in their jobs and in their everyday lives. At the same time, they willingly take on challenges that align with their skills and passions and enable them to grow within their chosen professions.

The reality is, only about 15% of people are self-aware. At work, in particular, people tend to lack self-knowledge: they don't have the necessary understanding to explore what they're capable of doing, what skills they have, and how those skills shape their fitness for specific projects, challenges, and other aspects of their daily job responsibilities. Those individuals who are self-aware, however, find that it's easy for them to experience overall career success and fulfillment.

What Does Self-Awareness Contribute to the Workplace?

In the workplace, self-awareness has a number of key advantages--both for the individual and for the others around them who will rely on their self-assessments to help shape their contributions to the workplace.

Self-awareness allows teams to function better. When there's a large gap between the way members of a team view themselves and the way their team members view them, the functionality of the entire team is impacted negatively. When all the members of a team are self-aware, on the other hand, team members are able to work more effectively together to solve the challenges in front of them and reach their performance goals.

Self-awareness helps many individuals do a better job of staying on track.

They know what's likely to cause them to derail and lose track of what they're supposed to be doing, whether that's a coworker who insists on coming by to chat or hours lost to the internet when they stopped to take a break for "just a minute." Self-aware individuals do a better job of avoiding those triggers that are most likely to derail them, which in turn means that they're more likely to meet deadlines, complete projects in a timely manner, and take care of more important tasks throughout their work day.

Self-aware individuals are better able to function with others--even those who annoy them.

They're aware of the characteristics that are most likely to trigger them to become frustrated with other individuals as well as who they work best with. Self-aware individuals are in a better position to choose teammates who will help them reach their goals, but they are also conscious of potential problem areas and how to avoid being sucked in by conflict.

Self-aware individuals respond better to criticism.

They know more about their personal tenancies when it comes to performance reviews and commentary from their bosses and other individuals within the company. They're able to take those reports on their behavior seriously, then change behaviors as needed so that they're able to function better within the team and work more effectively within their organizations.

Overall, self-aware individuals make better employees--and more organizations are starting to recognize this. Thanks to self-awareness, many people are able to progress further in their jobs than they would have been able to under any other circumstances. Many employers deliberately seek out self-aware employees to help them meet their goals.

What Does Self-Awareness Contribute to Personal Development?

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You don't just want to be a strong contributing member of your team at work, though of course that's on your list of goals. You also want to be sure that you're building your personal capabilities, making your way toward overall success and fulfillment. Self-awareness is one of the key attributes that will help get you there.

Self-aware individuals acknowledge their weaknesses.

Many employers struggle with employees who are unable to recognize their own weaknesses--and who, therefore, may struggle to make improvements in key areas even after they have been suggested during performance reviews.

Self-aware employees, on the other hand, are able to recognize those weaknesses in themselves, and--this is key--take the steps necessary to turn those weaknesses around. Rather than being trapped by their failings, or getting defensive, self-aware individuals are able to work with mentors, take classes, or take other steps to expand their personal knowledge and decrease those weaknesses. Self-aware individuals also tend to have a better yardstick for measuring their improvements.

Self-aware individuals have a better idea of what they consider fulfilling.

Many people spend their entire lives chasing "success" and "fulfillment" with little understanding of what those words actually mean. Do you consider success the ability to take elaborate vacations every year, or are you content to simply be able to do the grocery shopping without having to budget for every item in your cart? Are you most fulfilled by a profession that allows you to work behind a computer screen every day, or are you more fulfilled when you're able to work directly with people?

Self-aware individuals are highly conscious of the answers to these questions, which means that they're in a better position to pursue the things that mean success and fulfillment to them.

Self-aware individuals are better able to handle stress.

Not only do they have a good idea of what triggers are most likely to cause stress--which means that, if they can't avoid stressful situations, they can at least see them coming--self-aware individuals know how to moderate stress so that it doesn't impact every area of their lives. They know what they need in order to wind down, calm down, and level out--and chances are, they're more willing to do it.

Self-aware individuals may also be in a better position to avoid internal mechanisms that can cause stress: for example, the excessive drive to make sure that every detail is perfect.

Self-aware individuals build better relationships.

Relationship difficulties, from friendships or work relationships to more personal relationships, can be difficult to navigate. Self-aware individuals, however, are able to more clearly see what's causing any breakdown in the relationship as well as acknowledging their part in it. As a result, they have closer, more intimate relationships with the people closest to them and more effective working relationships with the people they partner with at work every day.

Self-aware individuals learn more effectively.

Anyone can get a solid education that will help them reach their career goals. Self-aware individuals, however, are able to do it more effectively. They have a solid idea of what they need to know in order to achieve their professional goals, and as a result, they'll be more likely to dig in and accomplish it.

Self-aware individuals are often the ones who score the highest on tests and quizzes, both because they know why they need to know the material and have made it a priority and because they understand how they learn and are able to compensate for their own weaknesses.

How Can You Become More Self-Aware?

If you've begun to realize that you're part of the 85% of the population that isn't completely self-aware, don't worry! You're not alone. You can also take steps to improve your self-awareness and help you reach your overall goals.

Strategy 1: Write down your goals. Take the time to sit down and actually write down your important goals--and define "success" for yourself! If possible, include quantifiable goals: for example, you'd like to achieve a specific promotion within the next six months or move on to a specific job--either inside your current company or outside it--within the next five years. When you have a written list of your goals, you're not just able to more easily define them. You're also in a better position to take the steps necessary to reach them.

Strategy 2: Make lists of priorities. At any given moment, you have dozens of tasks on your plate: personal tasks, professional tasks, and more. It's a constant juggling act to ensure that you have them all balanced. When you take the time to write down your priorities, however, it's easier to shift your time and talents to manage those important goals, rather than getting lost in things that are less significant to you. Your priority list can also help you break down tasks so that you're able to move more smoothly.

Strategy 3: Keep a journal. Are you noticing a theme? Writing things down is one of the most effective ways to become self-aware. The simple act of putting pen to paper--or fingers to keyboard, if you prefer--can often help you get a better picture of where things are and where they need to be. Your journal can help you keep track of your reactions and get to know yourself better. It's also an excellent place to track:

  • How you respond to specific stimuli

  • What stresses you the most

  • How you're responding to different combinations of stressers in your daily life

  • What factors could be influencing your responses--including your diet, exercise, sleep patterns, and physical health as well as other important details

Strategy 4: Practice meditation. Meditation is the act of clearing your mind and focusing on a specific goal or attribute. When you meditate on a specific problem or area of concern, you put yourself in a better position to deal with those issues. Often, solutions will occur to you that you might not have previously considered. Meditation is also, if not a daily habit, at least a regular one: something that will put you in the position to regularly consider yourself and your circumstances and adapt your path or make changes as necessary.

Strategy 5: Ask for feedback. It's difficult to see yourself the way others see you without help. Look for ways to ask for feedback from relevant individuals. This might include:

  • Talking with your mentor about specific strengths and weaknesses, goals, and plans. Note that it's better to trust your mentor with your goals and plans than your friends, who may not have the same positive reinforcement your mentor could offer.

  • Asking for feedback from your boss at regular intervals. Your annual performance review is a great place to get feedback, but it's not the only time you should ask for it! Instead, try to sit down with your boss or other key members of your team at the end of each project to gather feedback for how you should perform in the future.

  • Preparing questions for your friends. What personality traits do they see most in you? Are there specific words that they would use to describe you? Your friends are often one of the best mirrors into several of the aspects of your personality. If you're feeling brave, ask them to describe you. You might be surprised by some of the traits they pinpoint.

Strategy 6: Get to know yourself better. Many people forget that who they were in the past, including all of those past events, help shape who they are today. If you want to be truly self aware, take a look at how those past events have helped shape your present. 

From distrust of a specific individual or category of individual to specific fears and struggles, past events can have a big impact on your present. As you're discovering those past events, however, let them go! As you become more aware of what led to specific events in your past, it's easier to shape your future responses more effectively.

Becoming self aware is a journey for many people. It's easy to go through life with blinders on, naively assuming that you'll be able to accomplish your goals without ever needing to address past circumstances. As you become more self-aware, however, you'll discover that it's easier to navigate the obstacles that life throws your way to accomplish your goals and live a successful, fulfilling life.