Want A Successful Career? You Need To Understand Self-awareness.
Self-awareness and emotional intelligence are all the buzz in management circles. Those with high self-awareness are well-liked by their co-workers. They are more likely to be successful in their personal and professional lives too. Not everyone has a high-level of self-awareness, though.
Many are extremely talented. But, since they lack emotional intelligence they are passed up for promotions despite their skill. Luckily, even when self-awareness doesn’t come naturally to you it can be learned. Those who are aware know they can always be improving. But, what is self-awareness? Why is it important?
WHAT IS SELF-AWARENESS?
Authors Duval and Wicklund coined the term self-awareness in 1972. They co-wrote "A Theory of Objective Self-Awareness" explaining their findings. Self-awareness is the practice of focusing your attention on yourself. This is not meant to be selfish- quite the opposite, actually. When you’re self-aware, you compare your behavior against your values to make sure they’re aligned. It is the key to claiming control of your life. Your emotions and thoughts play a significant part in your life. Those who have learned self-awareness understand how their emotions dictate their actions.
SELF-AWARENESS AS THE PATH TO LEADERSHIP
A boss can be a leader. A leader may be a boss. However, they do not automatically go together. During your career, you will have many bosses and few leaders. It is easy to find someone with a personal example of a boss who was a poor leader. Excellent leaders are self-aware. They understand the needs of the team. They know where their strengths and weakness lie. They have team members that can make-up for any weakness in their management skills. Leaders make well-thought-out decisions. These choices make a positive impact on them and motivate the team. Their character is strong, and they lead with purpose and trust.
The types of self-awareness: There are two main types of self-awareness.
Type 1: Internal self-awareness – how your values, goals, and passions correspond with your environment. How your reactions impact your emotions and impact others. High internal awareness is linked to lower anxiety and depression. There is also a positive correlation between high awareness and high personal and professional satisfaction.
Type 2: External self-awareness – how people view you. Those with high external self-awareness are more empathetic to their peers. High external self-awareness is essential for effective leadership. Their employees are more satisfied working for them. In addition, they have strong relationships with their manager.
The Internal-External Self-Awareness Matrix
It is important to have high internal and external awareness. Having one aspect be more prominent over the other can cause issues.
High internal/low external – These 'introspectors' know themselves well. However, they can get tunnel vision. This hinders their success and relationships. They can improve by getting feedback from their peers. They will also want to look for blind spots in their theories.
Low internal/low external – 'Seekers' are still trying to find themselves. They don't stand on solid ground about their values. They may feel frustrated in their personal and professional life as a result.
Low internal/high external – The 'pleasers' are well liked by their peers. But, their choices don't reflect their values as they should. They are made so others are happy with them. This behavior leaves them feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied.
High internal/high external – This is the goal when it comes to self-awareness and emotional intelligence. It is also a learned trait. Don't get discouraged if you aren't there yet, you can get there. These people have a firm grasp on their values and goals. They are satisfied professionally and personally. Highly aware people have goals which they strive to reach. Those with high internal and external awareness make excellent leaders.
Self-Awareness Doesn’t Come Easily
High self-awareness and emotional intelligence is a worthy goal. But, it is not an easy one to achieve. Often, people operate on auto-pilot. They are going through the motions. Get up, go to work, come home. Many live for the weekend and are counting down the days until it arrives. Since you are not mentally in the moment it is difficult to understand how you feel about a situation. The tendency to daydream and let your mind wander makes achieving true self-awareness difficult. Becoming more self-aware may require change on your part. Change is challenging. To avoid this essential but difficult change many avoid constructive feedback. Many sink into confirmation bias which only reinforces preconceived notions about a subject.
How Self-Awareness Helps Develop Solid Emotional Intelligence
One of the cornerstones of a high EQ is self-awareness. Emotional intelligence gives you the power over your responses. You don't react. You maintain control of the situation by choosing the best response. Those with high EQ are emotionally free and confident.
Emotional intelligence is made up of four parts:
Component #1: Self-awareness – The understanding and recognition of your own emotions. This allows you the power to control them. Becoming fluent in the emotional language. They can distance themselves from their emotions which allows them to maintain control. They are not defined by their emotions, but they are experiencing emotions.
Component #2: Self-regulation – The ability to choose how you think and feel. You choose your actions and don't react impulsively. This creates higher trustworthiness and optimism and helps prevent spiraling into anxiety. You can take initiative with a clear head since you are in control of your emotions. You are also a high achiever but are not inflexible when it comes to meeting your goals.
Component #3: Social awareness – High social awareness is linked to empathy. You understand and relate to the emotions of those around you. It allows you to provide excellent service earning you loyal clients. You also understand how to work with company politics to your benefit.
Component #4 :Relationship management – Relationship management contain four important steps. First, you make decisions based on research and feedback from stakeholders. Second, you interact in the ways that are best for the group. They may prefer face-to-face or email instead. Third, choose your outcome. Your work and interactions should be intentional to achieve the best outcome. Fourth, is your needs. This ties into self-awareness but it also accounts for the needs of the organization. Those who excel at relationship management are influential and inspirational leaders. They build strong teams and can effectively enact positive change. They also develop others within their team.
Even those that are talented can't reach their true potential without self-awareness. Self-awareness and emotional intelligence are not fads among talent development circles. They are learned skills that help you be more successful personally and professionally. Anyone can learn these skills. It simply requires intention and dedication to master it. You must be willing to accept change and come to some uncomfortable realizations about yourself before you can improve. But, it is well worth it in the end when you are happy, well-liked, and successful.